yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
