Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
