I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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