So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
