who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
