They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
