Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
