i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
