Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
