Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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