apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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