Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
