So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
