Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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