I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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