and she was petting her beer can
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
