I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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