perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize