..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
