oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My breasts were aching with rage.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
