btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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