Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
