Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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