No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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