Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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