what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Farmville is her only friend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
