I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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