So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
