cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
