I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
