I'll bet she douches with gravy.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
