google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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