he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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