Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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