Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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