sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
