i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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