How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
