Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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