I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
