Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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