i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
MIDGETS
????
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
