My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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