would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
