I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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