Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
