Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
