Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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