Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
