i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
