were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
