idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
