Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
