I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish my penis had an off switch
Pappa wants mamma naked
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
