bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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