Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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