Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
