The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
