i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
