last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This baby is an asshole
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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