I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
